1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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