addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize