then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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