i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
