what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
