Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize