so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm at about main and main street
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
