dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
