She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I did not marry a roomba.
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