Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
