I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize