you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
