How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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