I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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