Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
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Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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