I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
