just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
