grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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