shes about as inviting as chlamydia
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
