The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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