i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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