When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
