The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
how does that bad decision feel?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
