Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
