and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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