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At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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