using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
