So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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