I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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