do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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