hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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