my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
