I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
