brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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