everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so much tequila, so little girl.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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