Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
