Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
