I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
