Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
