So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
