I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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