Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
