At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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