Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
