So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
