i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
