why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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