In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just gift wrapped bread.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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