You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You smell like stripper and shame
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
