Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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