exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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