Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
