I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
