No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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