So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize