We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
