somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
