I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
