youre lurking in front of me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She bit a glass in half.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
