Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
