Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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