i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you never un-have a 4some
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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