You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
