i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
