i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize