i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
