I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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