I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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